"Truth Be Told, I Miss You..

..And truth be told, I'm lying."

-All-American Rejects

See, I thought I missed her. I thought it was her that I wanted/needed in my life. Like this girl was all I needed to be happy.

Then, the realization came to me that it wasn't her making me happy back then. It was the relationship we had. One that any two people could have, if they like each other. It was effortless and honest. Genuine. I don't miss her, I miss it.

It took me a long time to realize it, but that's all it ever was. I liked her and she liked me and we both knew how we felt about each other. We were open with one another. Since her, I haven't experienced that and I miss it. That's what I'm trying to find all over again, but I could care less about whether I ever see her again. If I'd loved her, we wouldn't have ever fallen apart. I loved what we have and I still do. It was special and it meant a lot to me to have something like that. Hopefully, it'll come back to me. That real attraction to another person. Deeper than skin.

That's not to say there was nothing about her I liked, because there was a lot about her in particular that made me like her. Shit, I'd still deal with her if the opportunity presented itself, but I'm not checking for her anymore. I'm looking for what we had and hopefully, I can recreate it with someone else..