Poem Six

Written For Me

I am where I live but I want to go home
Take life slow, get things in control
But there's a couple things I gotta do before I go:
Deconfigure my thoughts, reconsider my heart
Reach up into the sky, eat my piece of the pie
Find some peace of mind, and buy or lease some time
So I can take things at my own pace for a while
'Cause lately I've been racing
Impatient as they say I am
I never slowed down to listen until now
And now I'm mad I did
I wish I would've hid when I ran away from here
But I wanted to be found, so I didn't
It's not too smart to go missing at six in the middle of the winter
Without having dinner, so I didn't go far
Now, I wish I had..
So many times that I went and packed a bag,
Ready to escape, but I didn't leave
My brother would be sad and I knew my mom would grieve.
Sure, they were the one's that were causing me the pain
But I just cooled off by walking in the rain
Or crying til my eyes stopped running on their own
And now I can't cry, eyes dry as bone
With people all around, somehow I'm still alone.
But fuck it, I prefer to be
With nobody here hurting me
Talking to myself like fuck it to the third degree!
I know I don't deserve to be
Feeling this bad
Feeling like I lost everything I everything I ever had
Feeling like a lab rat, stuck up in a maze
Walking around, eyes low, in a fuckin daze
In a crowd of people, but I'm still so alone
I am where I live, but I wanna go home.