NEW ERA THINKING CAP

Generally fearless..

2009-10-03T16:14:00.000-07:00

..but sometimes i fear for myself. It's not the dangers of the world that give me goosebumps, it's the emptiness within that I fear. I do a lot of wrong. It's not that I think Satan is trying to claim my soul.. I'm more worried that God forgot to give me one..

Creativity At Its Finest!

2009-07-29T15:51:00.000-07:00

I'm late and the quality sucks 10,000 weewees, but I effin love this commercial man..
The whole concept is dope as fuck.

Point.
Blank.
Period.
btw.. click the HQ button for hi-def. looks way better!

Kanye West Ended Chris Brown's Career.

2009-07-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

Ol' bad advice givin' ass nigga..

I'm sitting here listening to Kanye shit, unofficial songs and features, and I come across Chris Brown's song "Down" ft. Kanye West. This was always my shit, but I haven't heard it in a minute. So anyway, at this point, I notice a few lines in Ye's verse.

"I told my homie Chris, these chicks is dangerous. You need a girl that's A-list, not one that just barely made it on a list.."

Nigga! Soon as Chris gets his first "A-list" girl, he goes to jail and gets shunned by damn near all of mankind.

If he beat some around-the-way girl's ass, he would've performed at the BET Awards.

Fuck you, Mr. West! Take that gotdamn bookbag off.. Gotdamn fourth grader.

Meanwhile, I'll be impatiently waiting for your new album to descend upon us graciously.

Jay-Z's New Single

2009-07-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

Run This Town.

This song would be MUCH better without RiRi on the hook.. I love her ~~body~~ music and all but she can't carry a fucking note at all. This song made me realize that.

Oh, and we can't forget that Jay did NOT do his thing on here at all. It's cool, but not Jayhova quality verses. Kanye officially SHAT on Hov! He said he would, too.

"..so to be number one, ima b e a t m y b r o t h e r".."

I like the song tho, but a better voice on the hook would have been nice.

Check Me Out On Flickr.

2009-07-20T18:14:00.000-07:00

Flickr.

that's all.

Jeez, Eight Days Since My Last Post..

2009-07-18T05:58:00.000-07:00

Been busy doing something I hate, so back off lol

Doesn't this look delicious?

Yeahh, that's a human baby in there. You can buy this (well not this exact baby, as someone ate it by now, but..) in China. They consider Fetus Soup a delicacy there and it sells for as much as $4000! This is new age abortion over there mannn.. Except now, you don't pay to kill your kid. Instead, they pay you!

Shit is disgusting.. First the monkey brains, now the babies. I got love for all people, regardless of race or nationality, but Chinese people are some crazy bloodsuckers. Sorry, if you're offended, but explain that shit not being crazy and then and only then will I retract my words. If you don't do psycho shit like this, I'm not referring to you.

Shut Up Bxtch, Swallow.

2009-07-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the two. In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurrence of breast cancer than those who had not. There was no increased risk, however, for those who did not regularly perform.

“I think it removes the last shade of doubt that fellatio is actually a healthy act,” said Dr. A.J. Kramer of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, who was not involved in the research. “I am surprised by these findings, but am also excited that the researchers may have discovered a relatively easy way to lower the occurrence of breast cancer in women.” The University researchers stressed that, though breast cancer is relatively uncommon, any steps taken to reduce the risk would be a wise decision. “Only with regular occurrence will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine,” said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. “Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances.”

via awkwordsilence.

"In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, over the past ten years..."

suspected? lol @ doctors assuming these chicks is regular chompers.

“Only with regular occurrence will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine,” said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. “Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances.”

smh @ a doctor tellin girls to suck dick twice a week and admitting to doing it at least every other night.

They Say I Oughta Be More Grateful.

2009-07-08T20:36:00.000-07:00

I got this job for the third straight summer and I hate it, just like the last two summers. People say I'm ungrateful when I say I don't like it. I make $270 a week, so the money is cool for me. Can't complain there, but I gotta be there 6:30am-3:00pm. I gotta be all the way at the bottom of South Philly by the time I would be waking up for school. Then I have to clean an impound lot for all that time, except it's small, so the work be done in like an hour. Rest of the day, I'm sittin around bored as fuck listening to the dumb white bitch talkin about her loser daughters that I don't even know. My job is cakeeee but it's annoying as shit!

I may sound like I'm bitchin, but yo! Come do my job for a week and you'll understand why I hate it. No problem having to work for what I want out here, but that place is hell. And my boss is cool as shit, with his old ass lol; the place is just lame. And when I'm there, I can't do my photoshop or take time to myself to just sit and write.. songs, poems, raps. Anything to stimulate my mind.

Haven't had time to write a real blog in a while.. That's why this one sucks. I think this job is draining my creative juices, right out my nuts. They say I have nothing to complain about, because my check is right. Money ain't shit to me like that though; I need a job that makes me happy and this ain't it.

Then, the people who work later than me say getting off at 3:00 leaves the rest of my day to do me, but after work I'm sleeping. Waking up before the sun is no joke.

Whatever. I'm done with this wack blog. Sorry yall, I tried.

Louisiana LOST For Allowing This.

2009-07-04T07:34:00.000-07:00

This is the Louisiana House Chamber. SMFH!
Please watch this all the way through to the end. Please.

________________________________________________________________________________________
Meanwhile, Wale was doin some real nigga shit, destroying those who love to hate.

They Don't Call 'Em "Cancer Sticks" For Nothing!

2009-07-02T16:52:00.000-07:00

If you smoke cigarettes, you are ~~a dumb motherfucker~~ killing yourself! I'll never understand what compels you people to smoke. Cigarettes serve no fucking purpose! At least upgrade your taste, you low class chain-smokers. Go to your local D-boy and get your Newport smoking ass a dub of that sticky icky icky. I'm not saying you should smoke weed since ~~it's an illegal substance in most American cities/states~~ inhaling dry herb sucks for your lungs.

VAPORIZE MUHFUCKAS!!

Nah, for real though. Please don't smoke those shits. Fuck AIDS, cancer is THE leading killer in the United States. Look it up. Why would you inhale all those chemicals, not even get buzz off of it, and destroy your lungs completely? Does that not sound like some stupid shit?

I hear that "they" are about to put this bill into legislation saying that cigarette retailers have to have graphic signs like this at the register.

Fuckin BRAVO! Pleaseeeeeeeee pass this bill!

Even if you don't care about your own lungs, (go figure) be considerate to those around you! Second-hand smoke causes cancer more than smoking itself! So, when you smoke next to me, you put me in danger more than yourself. How rude is that? My mom defends smoking by saying "Everything causes cancer these days; I might as well smoke." Uhmm.. yeahh, there's a new report every day saying this or that causes cancer, but not every cancer is LUNG CANCER! True, cancer is a killer, regardless of the type, but some are easier to fight off than others. I mean, it's your lungs! What the hell kind of life do you expect to live without lungs?

And then there's videos like this with people making little kids smoke, so now you have nicotine addicts who aren't even old enough to |c h o o s e| to or not to smoke.

Fuck cigs, and fuck you if you smoke em. The end.

Selling Yourself Short.

2009-07-01T13:32:00.000-07:00

"Bad bitch, don't cook or clean, but I dress my ass off and my walk is mean!"

I'm not sure who said this, but I bet it was Nicki Minaj.. This is bullshit. Who wants a girl like that? I couldn't give two flying fucks if you get dolled up and walk like a runway model all day if you can't make me a fucking meal once in a while. And what kinda dirty skeezer doesn't clean? At all?!

That's not to say a woman should have to do all the work all the time, because it's just as bad if a man is like this.. but come on! She's bragging about this in her rap? Shit is shameful. Now I see it all over myspace on stupid bitches statuses and shit, idolizing that nonsensical way of life. Grow up to be like that and they'll never find a real man to wife their lazy ass. Real men want a woman who brings more to the table than visual pleasures.

It's a shame, I can already see that they'll be the girls still saying "NIGGAS AIN'T SHIT!" at 35. Nah, shawty. You just dealing with "ain't shit" niggas. Maybe if you could appeal to real men with more than just your looks, you could actually get one of them!

We Are Not Losers; We Are Lasers.

2009-06-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

DOPE! Real shit to live by right here, unlike the bullshit you choose to consume. I just (nah, like now, as I type this) realized that it's unfair to blame the media for feeding us bullshit. The video posted above is, by all accounts, MEDIA, so we are fed just as much positivity as we are fed negativity. It's up to us to choose which we will consume.
______________________________________________________________
How rude of me to jump into a post without begging your forgiveness first! I never told you guys I was leaving, so I've been M.I.A for over a week. Sincerest apologies to those of you who didn't know where I was.

I went on vacation, had a good time. Over this short period of nine days.. a lot has happened. I may get into that laterr, but right now, it's all about that video. In the words of DJ Drama, "PAY ATTENTION!"

The End.

Vol. Max.

2009-06-20T10:51:00.000-07:00

Playing music quietly is disrespectful to producers. They put a lot of time and energy into making good beats for your favorite artists, and for us to enjoy. When you have it playing quietly though, you are only hearing it, not feeling it. Music should be experienced, and you never get the full experience when you don't turn it up. Of course, it can be turned all the way up and sound terrible, if you don't have a nice sound system.

Bad speakers are also very disrespectful to the producer. Why do you think you always see them with the biggest friggen headphones in the studio? They need to feel their music at the highest level for it to come out right. If you listen to music in your house or car, and you don't feel the 808s under your ass, you need to turn the stereo way up!

I love music and I respect those making it right. It's only fair that I show my appreciation by playing it the way it was meant to be heard, right?

Booty Pirates.

2009-06-18T21:31:00.000-07:00

"Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic;
Staring at my jeans, watching my genitals bulging.
That's my motherfucking balls, you'd better let go of em,
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em!"
-Eminem.

I swear, it's too many gay people in my school. You gotta be careful as shit in there.. What you say to people, how you act. Been in there with the same people for two years and I'm still finding niggas out. Don't get me wrong though, I have no beef with gays. I'm cool with a few gay dudes. Plenty gay girls lol. But it's scary when half the dudes you associate with start coming out as the weeks, months and years pass by. I don't like that "Oh, yeahh, I'm gay" shit just coming the hell up in general conversation.

All this faggotry in this school got me wanting to transfer. I don't feel comfortable in that place no more.

I'm expecting a huge drop in population in the next 20 years. Everyone is too gay to make a kid these days. What kinda trends yall followin?

This May Be The Dumbest Shit I Ever Post.

2009-06-18T16:45:00.000-07:00

If you watched the whole way through, I ~~lost major respect~~ feel sorry for you.
I wanted this to be funny but it just wasn't. At all.
If you liked it, please ~~proceed to knock yaself out~~ don't tell me.

When You Refuse Me, You Confuse Me..

2009-06-16T22:03:00.001-07:00

I think that's a terrible opening line lol
It's "Not Coming Home" by Maroon 5, for those that don't know. I love that song, along with the entire Songs About Jane album, but there's something about that line.. Seems like they didn't put too much thought into what he was gonna open the song with, for whatever reason. Idkk, that's just how I took it.
Great stoner album, for the stoners out there lol; What, yall ain't know Songs About JANE, as in Mary Jane, as in marijuana, was mainly an ode to weed smoke? Sounds like a bunch of love songs, right? Nahhh.
It Won't Be Soon Before Long is lover shtt, but not Songs About Jane.
Am I rambling? I think so.

"Give me s o m e t h i n g to believe in, cause I don't believe in you anymore."

-Much better line!

_______________________________________________________________
Soo, I just started talking to an old girl I used to mess with.. We stopped talking for a few months and just started again. I'm |kinda sorta| ~~hoping~~ praying that we can get back like we were, but at the same time, I'm not sure if it's a good idea. Sometimes, I feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment.
_______________________________________________________________
My best friend is missing in action lately. I need to talk to her like we used to. Every day and about everything. The stuff I just mentioned about the girl.. shit I should be talking to her about but she hasn't been as available to talk as she used to be =/

SMH.

2009-06-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

What is this shit?

A damn shame is what it is..

When In Doubt, Sound It Out..

2009-06-13T21:04:00.001-07:00

lmao he got lucky! aha he was scared as shtt.

Madness The Magnet Keeps Attracting Me..

2009-06-13T11:53:00.000-07:00

"Maybe if I was a jerk to girls, instead of being nice and speaking kind words,
I guess it would be okay to say then, I w a s n ' t a g o o d g u y t o b e g i n w i t h."
-Kid Cudi.

Have you ever heard of some shit so real?

~~Bitches~~ Females bring the ignorance out of me, I swear they do. I just don't understand yall.

Call me biased, but I cant always blame the guy who hits a girl for hitting her. Granted, no one should be hitting anyone, but yall do some stupid shit. It takes a lot for me to want to become violent with people, but ~~bitches~~ females do have me on the verge a lot of times. I restrain myself, but I wanna just wail on stupid girls.

Don't take it wrong, I love girls. Yall just do the dumbest shit. Bitches.. no strikethrough.. stay hatin on each other. Stay gossipin. Whisperin asses.

Bitches.. still no strikethrough.. wanna hit dudes but wouldn't dare hit a girl. If a guy hits you, it makes him a pussy, somehow. But if a girl hits a guy, she's not? Go figure.. She's hitting someone that she KNOWS won't hit back, and if he does, she's looked at as the victim. That right there.. that's some pussy shit.

And yall wanna talk about double standards? Shuddddddddup.
______________________________________________________________
Enough of that.
My dad actually did something for me.. *gasp!*
He got me a nice lil watch wit some nice lil (keyword "lil") rocks.
I like it; that was nice of him. Still kinda shocked.
______________________________________________________________
I went to dinner with friends last night for my homie Ajiah's bday.
These Chinese muhfuckas (no racist) gave her a brownie with whipped cream and cherries on it.
With cucumbers and sliced Jell-O on the plate with it.
We looked at the plate like.. wtf is that?!
lol it was def a fun night tho.
The "cake" they gave her just made it that much funnier.
Okay, I'm done blogging for now.
☮&♥ yall.

Blah.

2009-06-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, you just need someone to talk to.

Over.

Nooooooo HOMO!

2009-06-08T15:59:00.000-07:00

How many Hail Mary's would it take to save this dude from eternal youtube embarrassment? he better hope their servers crash in the near future lol

How Do You Fight An Enemy As Sneaky As Time?

2009-06-07T19:00:00.000-07:00

How can you confront such an evil? When you think about it, time doesn't truly exist. Time is nothing more than a measurement created by humans. How do you defeat a foe of your own creation when it doesn't even exist outside of your own mind?
And there's never enough of it in a day, but there's always too much during the worst of occasions. The clock betrays you each time you anxiously await something in the future, but when you wish something were further in the future, the calender seems to fast forward to the date you wish wouldn't come, as if done just to spite you.
This past week, I've been overloaded with school work that seemed to be too much to do in a week, but when I tell you it was the fastest week of my life..
All the while I'm in school though, the day can't go fast enough. When I leave that hell hole, there's never enough time for me.
And now, I have finals all this week. I'll just pretend to be indifferent to them, so that time won't know whether to speed up or slow down.
Maybe the whole time-space continuum will collapse, and all the clocks will move backwards.
I can only hope.
Did I just teach myself how to conquer time? Hmmmmmm..
Hopefully so, because everyone else in history has been conquered by time in the end.

Americans Bore Me.

2009-06-05T23:42:00.000-07:00

Japanese culture is so dope! They're just so artistic with theirs.
Ever been to a hibachi? Def. need to get to that part of the world one day.
To see people walking around like this on a day to day basis.. Yo!

Poem Eight

2009-06-02T13:44:00.000-07:00

Be On The Look Out

I can't find my inspiration.
I mean, I had it not too long ago,
but now, I can't seem to find it =/
It's really bothering me that I can't remember where I put it,
and to make matters worse, I've forgotten what it looks like.
But I know for a fact that I wrote my name ALL OVER IT.
Black Sharpie®.
So, if anyone comes across my little stash of inspiration,
I'd really appreciate it if you'd return it.

"Youza Soulja Boy Fan"

2009-05-29T15:29:00.000-07:00

Any time someone says anything negative about a popular rapper, this is what I hear. I've been labeled a Soulja Boy fan myself on multiple occasions. Being given a title such as this because I say Eminem is top 5 DOA, (dead or alive) or anything of the sort, is foolishness in my opinion, as well as blatant disrespect.

This quote from www.allhiphop.com explains why I consider it disrespectful.. It basically says what I've been saying for a while, except I was too lazy to find Webster's exact definition of fan to support my claim.

Fan is short for “fanatic,” which means one that has “excessive enthusiasm and often intense uncritical devotion.”

This means that being a fan of.. anything.. means that you have unwavering faith in it and will support it until the bitter end, regardless of whether it is deserving of such devotion or not.

First of all, what I just described is love. I do not love Soulja Boy, or any of these other artists as anything other than a neighbor. Fall back hoe. Being a fan is having an unhealthy obsession with someone/thing. I'm no Jay-Z fan, Nas fan, Soulja Boy, etc. I am, however, a supporter of good music and of those who add to the music world, or the world as a whole. Whether my support be financial or verbal, I am a supporter.

I've never bought Soulja Boy anything and I don't plan to. I would not come out of pocket for what he's put out, but I do respect his hustle and a lot of what he says. I'll listen to his music but I don't buy ring tones or dance music albums.

Still, he didn't kill hip-hop, so the hate he garners is undeserved. He revived an element in hip-hop that was lost when everyone started trying to be gangsta. REAL DANCE! Choreographed steps came back with "Crank Dat," and it came back hard. For years, it had been lost because everyone wanted to post on a wall and grind. How about something that takes practice? Something you have to LEARN to do?

I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin. I'm not a fan of anything, but I do support talent. I don't have time to be a fanatic, nor do I have time to be the broke nigga hating on the nigga that got rich off of a ringtone. Congratulations to those who made it/are making it by doing something constructive.

Baring It All..

2009-05-27T16:14:00.000-07:00

Is it strange that I reaallly like being totally naked? It's just a very.. free feeling. Like, there's not a time when I feel more comfortable and at ease than when I'm naked. Go figure. I wish we lived in a nudist society, to be so completely serious. Technically, I'm pretty sure we were meant to be nude anyway, so where did the idea of it being shameful come from? If streaking didn't get people arrested, I'd do it all the time. Just because.. It's really very liberating to not feel trapped behing clothes.
Don't get me wrong, I love clothes, but there's just nothing like the experience of being naked. That's why I live for days when I'm home alone. I just walk around naked for as long as I can. TMI? Oh well, stop reading MY blog. Its MINE so I can say what the hell I want.
_________________________________________________________________________---
Listen to Mike Posner's mixtape with DJ Don Cannon. It's called "A Matter of Time" and you can get it free on itunes.. Dopeness! imo anywayss.

And with that.. I'm outtie like this google search girl's belly button.

No!(x4) No One's Ever Gonna Find Us!

2009-05-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

"Now, every time I see a dime, I ask myself if she is really the one. Or is she just another shorty with a fatty cake inside of that bun?"
-Chester French.

Kind of a funny line from their song "People." As stupid as the line is though, it relates to me. Does that mean I'm stupid? Idkk but who cares? Their mixtape is dope! And so is their album. Cop up, it's wayy worth it.
_______________________________________________________________________________

In unrelated news, I just got new sneakers by DC Shoe Co., socks by Haynes®, undershirts by Haynes® and clothes from American Eagle Outfitters.

"Fck you bxtch, I'm actin brand new!"

-Lil Wayne.

Just about ready for summer.. Just need more sneakers (Ima fiend for fresh kicks!) and a lightweight jacket. And drawls, of course lol
I'll just leave you with that little nugget of unnecessary information.
Toodles.

Mr. Aubrey Graham.

2009-05-24T00:14:00.000-07:00

Yall been sleepin on him for the longest.. He just started buzzing as of late 08, which is messed up.
Personally, I started listening back in october 07, when I heard him rap on Degrassi as "Wheelchair Jimmy."
His verses on the song "Tell Me Lies" with Ashley.. crazy. He drops some really dope lines in this song and ever since this episode.. one of the last episodes I saw.. Mr Graham has been on my radar. Had it not been for her weak vocals on the hook, this song could've been an album cut for real. Except Degrassi probably has all rights to the song =/
Anywayss, with no further ado..
Check out the video that made me a Drake fan before I knew he was Drake.
Oh yeah; turn my music off first! Play list at the bottom of the page.

"Truth Be Told, I Miss You..

2009-05-23T10:52:00.000-07:00

..And truth be told, I'm lying."
-All-American Rejects
See, I thought I missed her. I thought it was her that I wanted/needed in my life. Like this girl was all I needed to be happy.

Then, the realization came to me that it wasn't her making me happy back then. It was the relationship we had. One that any two people could have, if they like each other. It was effortless and honest. Genuine. I don't miss her, I miss it.

It took me a long time to realize it, but that's all it ever was. I liked her and she liked me and we both knew how we felt about each other. We were open with one another. Since her, I haven't experienced that and I miss it. That's what I'm trying to find all over again, but I could care less about whether I ever see her again. If I'd loved her, we wouldn't have ever fallen apart. I loved what we have and I still do. It was special and it meant a lot to me to have something like that. Hopefully, it'll come back to me. That real attraction to another person. Deeper than skin.

That's not to say there was nothing about her I liked, because there was a lot about her in particular that made me like her. Shit, I'd still deal with her if the opportunity presented itself, but I'm not checking for her anymore. I'm looking for what we had and hopefully, I can recreate it with someone else..

Thought Provoking Quotage.

2009-05-19T18:04:00.000-07:00

"Every Man Wants Heaven But No Man Wanna Die"

-Novel

Well, I never heard of this guy outside of the song "To Find A Hero" by Colin Munroe, but I like this line from his verse. Not that it's so lyrically amazing, but that it's so real. We all seek perfection, paradise, eternal happiness, etc., but none of us can ever have this until we leave this world behind. Even then, we only assume that this place of wonder exists because others (who've also never been there) tell us it's out there somewhere. Assuming Heaven, Nirvana, whatever you choose to call it, exists, we already know that we can never reach it until we reach the end of our lives, which most people do not look forward to meeting. I appreciate that he managed to squeeze that entire idea into like nine words. That's what you call poetry.

*sidenote: I'm working on poems now.. but I'm having a hard time because life is so dull right now. No highs or lows lately. Just.. life. UGH! I need to be inspired!

He's Back.. "The Miracle Whip Trickster" lol

2009-05-19T09:13:00.000-07:00

Soo, I'm listening to Eminem's new album. Relapse is the title, of course. I thought it would suck based off the singles I heard but YOOOOOOO!

"In the bed with two brain-dead lesbian vegetables/ i bet you they become heterosexual/ nothing will stop me from molesting you/ titty fucking you til your breast nipple flesh tickles my testicles"

this muhfucka.. only ~~Eminem~~ Slim Shady, i tell ya.
yep, this album is the return of Slim Shady!

"I don't need help peeing/ I can do it myself, see?/ I only get naked when the babysitter tells me/ She showed me a movie like Nightmare On Elm Street/ But it was X, they called it Pubic Hair On Chelsea/ *deep mystery voice*Well, this is called Ass Rape and we're shooting the jail scene!*deep mystery voice*"

Anyway, it's a loooooong album and I'm not done listening.. but if you're up to hearing some crazy pedophilia/drug abuse/classic Shady, it's worth buying!

Classic

2009-05-17T12:27:00.000-07:00

i'm really in my bag with this Pokemon Yellow lol
shit is a classic for real.
i started playing again like.. monday? tuesday? idk but i havent stopped yet. not to eat, sleep, piss. nah, i seriously been holding my johnson in one hand and my gameboy® in the other.
tmi? oh well, im addicted.
truth kills opposition, pikachu kills every fucking body.
my life is in shambles right now, while my batteries are charging.
i guess thats why i have time to post now? idkk.
_______________________________________________________________________________________

13 days or so left of class before finals! that's all i have to say about that lol
_______________________________________________________________________________________

i'm tired of that word "single." tired of it applying to me..
i need to not be single anymore. if only girls weren't such douches.
sorry to my female followers lol
i love ladies, but there seems to be a shortage of those lately.
sure, there's plenty of vagina owners out here, but not many ladies!
they say that i should stop looking, because anything meant for me will come to me..
but i don't really believe in fate too much. i believe my life depends on what i do.
therefore, i'm out here looking high and low for something real.
whatever that is.
until next time bloggers!

Born Agains..

2009-05-13T15:01:00.000-07:00

why do girls always claim to be "born-again virgins?"
there's no such thing in this world; sorry hun.
you might be practicing abstinence at the moment, but you're no virgin.
not if you've had sex in the past.
i don't care if it was 30yrs ago.
if you did it, you did.
i guess it's a girl's way of dewhorifying* herself?
i especially hate it when i hear teen girls saying it.
first of all, you're too young for sex anyway, but even if you did it..
how long ago did you start?
and how long ago did you decide to stop?
last month? smh, born-again my ass.
how can you admit to sexual activites and say you're a virgin in the same breath?
that's like saying you're a recovering heroin addict whose never tried drugs.
please, spare me; i'm not the one to be trying to sell that bullshit to.
i mean, how many times can one person be born?

*dewhorification is the act of separating one's self from self-earned whorish attributes.

Dope Quote.

2009-05-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

"Anyone can take a picture, not everyone can make it one worth looking at."
-kmX

well, that was encouraging lol
i mean, i like pictures.. art, and i like making it. i really want it to be my career in the future, but i've been second guessing it lately, as everyone and they mama is a photographer for the stars these days. so, its been confusing to me. should i keep pursuing this career, even when it seems like everybody on this planet is striking a pose or trying to capture the ambiance of nature, the essence of family life. or should i try my hand at learning some other bullshit i dont want to do, simply because its a less flooded industry? then i read this quote. i think it pretty much speaks for itself, just like art. it shouldnt have to be explained.

"Those who make it complicated never get congratulated."

-kid cudi.

anyway.. i can shop the shit out of an image, but my raw photography skills aren't on her level. ima get there tho.
check out her blog..

http://kmxlegendaryig.blogspot.com/

bout the dopest blog that i've seen thus far.

I Can't Believe This Shtt >_<

2009-05-09T23:24:00.000-07:00

i mean, i can. it happened before. my stupid fucking camera broke!
stupid bitch ass screen cracked.. just like the last one!
i barely even sat on it this time lol
UGH!! im so irked right now..
how the hell am i sposed to make sexy ass imgs with photoshop when i cant even take pics?
i cant even breathe man..
punk ass lcd screens aint worth shit, i swear.

camera.

screen.

story of my life..
____________________________________________________________________

in other news.. its Mother's Day!
tell your mom and all the other moms in your life you love em.
ill get back at yall later.

A Grievance of Sorts..

2009-05-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

I used to have this

I loved this 16-bit console. Like a brother, I loved it.
Then, this son of a biscuit eating bulldog

convinced me that i would love this piece of crap more.
SMH the best game on this wack system was this garbage
how could i be so foolish as to give up this masterpiece for that?

young and dumb, i tell ya.
i miss my tekken, mortal combat, street fighter, star fox, ninja turtles, etc.
all these years, and i still feel like an idiot for trading them all in.

SNES fan for life! lol
in the words of jay-z.. i "want that old thing back!"

Tension headaches..

2009-05-07T19:57:00.000-07:00

sometimes i wonder why i blog. why do i sit here and type up all my thoughts for the e-world to see, when i only have 8 followers? apparently, no one is really seeing it..

but i think, therefore i blog. otherwise, all the things i think up would go completely to waste. at least if i type them up, i can fool myself into believing i did something meaningful.

i guess its kinda like askin myself why i use photoshop when half the pics never make it to myspace for my friends to see.

i do it because i like it; what more reason do i need?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

on another note, its may. its rained here every single day of the month so far.

i thought it was april showers that brought may flowers.. maybe i got the saying wrong? lol

oh well, what difference does it make? my birthday was yesterday and i did nothing.

not upset though, because this humdinger of a phone is in the mail for me ^_^

Meladesol

2009-05-06T03:52:00.000-07:00

They make good music.
http://www.myspace.com/meladesol

Get Flash now!

In order to listen or view this content you will have to upgrade your version of Flash.

Its Amazing..

2009-05-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

Man, this video gave me a new appreciation of Young Jeezy lol

"I was bred to get in-- no spoon!"
Since 808s dropped in Nov. 08, I was confused as to what the hell Jeezy meant by that line.
Then I saw this video and.. suddenly it makes sense.
This is spooning

This is getting it in

Man, I feel dumb now. SMH!
I was thinking about the eating utensil, not the cuddling.
And still, people call me a perv? lol
Oh well, until next time..

Poem Seven

2009-05-02T12:49:00.000-07:00

The Shepherd

His word is their command,
they do as they are told.
They flock behind this man,
the youngest to the old.
As he walks, they follow,
awaiting new direction.
And they reimburse this leader;
after all, it's his profession
To make them feel secure,
trusting his oration.
Their vision quite obscured,
they stay for the duration.
The wool is in their eyes;
they cannot see the truth.
He only speaks in lies.
He screams, oh, how uncouth!
He's barking at his sheep,
as if he were a wolf;
Still, they love to hear him speak,
when reading verses from his book.
Why not read it all today?
By chapter, not by verse.
Afraid that they will fall away?
You fear that they'll disperse?
Yes, keep them blind to keep them near;
but keep in mind, the sheep you shear
to take their wool and leave them bare
cannot be fooled, no more long hair
to steal their eyes and snatch their sight.
Will they still cry in sweet delight
to hear your lecture?
Sorry, shepherd, I'm thinking that's a "No."
I will not be your Sunday sheep,
It's time for me to go.

Fighting.

2009-05-01T04:11:00.001-07:00

I went to see Fighting last night and let me tell you.. I think I fell in love! lol this girl right here-->
She is gorgeous!
Zulay "..like July. Right?" Henao plays the girl that Shawn MacArthur (Channing Tatum) is obsessed with. I don't blame him. She's a baddie lol

But anyway.. the movie is dope! Nice story line that managed to keep my ADHD having (possibly!) self entertained throughout.

I swear Channing Tatum is black at heart. Early on in the movie, he said "radio," but he pronounced it "ready-o" like me lol I've never heard a white person say that. Most blacks I know do though.. Not that this is a race thing lol

Terrence Howard did his thing as always. Played his role real well. Tired of seeing that Philly boy walking around with a perm though. That's not tradition here. Got people calling him Slickback Terry now. SMH.

Overall, this was a really good movie. I definitely suggest that you go see it.

Invisible Man.

2009-04-30T10:29:00.000-07:00

I am an invisible man. I am a man of substance, of flesh and bone, fiber and liquids -- and I might even be said to possess a mind. I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me.

- Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man

This quote stood out to me moreso than any other quote I've heard in African American History class. Although this statement refers to the fact that the black man was being overlooked and unrecognized, as if not even seen, I feel as though I can relate to it, even in 2009.

The way I look at this quote, as a teenage boy in a world where color matters less and less with each passing day, is that I am overlooked and unrecognized. The content of my character, the person I actually am seems to be invisible, hidden behind the veil that is the person presented to the world. The face I put on, the mask I wear, is not an accurate representation of who I truly am. This blog is who I am, the one few people ever see.

It's not that I'm trying to create any particular image, other than who I was born to be. People just seem to have a little difficulty with understanding that person. Therefore, I am invisible.. Simply because people refuse to see me.

Born Date In A Week

2009-04-28T20:15:00.000-07:00

And with that date coming up, i've been trying to create a new image for myself. It isn't a fun task in any way, but I feel as though it's necessary. Some of the things that I find associated with myself, I'd rather dissociate from. This means making more conscious decisions throughout the day. It feels like in doing this I'm putting on a front, like it's all a facade. The last thing I want to be seen as is fake, but I also have realized that thinking before you act is not necessarily fraudulent behavior.

Sure, reaching into the cookie jar may be more my mode of operation, but what purpose does it serve? At the end of the day, reaching, even just taking the lid off to peek tends to be a detriment. When I think of the outcome of this behavior, it may be self-satisfying for the moment, but what kind of image does it cause me to reflect? As the summer months come closer and my skin gets darker, the last thing I need is to have a shadow cast on me.

For this reason, I look to be a better person for me. When people look at me, I want them to see the person that I see in the mirror. Although many of my actions are playful, others can take them more seriously than I intended. Now, I am trying to look at myself and my actions or lack thereof through the eyes of others, rather than through my own.

As I get older, I mature in some ways while I seem to practice dormancy in other areas of my life. I understand now that the person I present to the world can be considered very unattractive in ways, and this needs to be corrected. I know who I want to be seen as, just not how to show this person to the world around me.

Working on it though; wish me luck on my self-betterment efforts please!

Artists2Check4

2009-04-25T18:34:00.000-07:00

If you don't listen to these dudes, you should. Def. worth it!

WALE
MIXTAPES TO CHECK FOR--> MIXTAPE ABOUT NOTHING, DC CHILLIN

KID CUDI
MIXTAPES TO CHECK FOR--> A KID NAMED CUDI, DAT KID FROM CLEVELAND

BIG SEAN
MIXTAPE TO CHECK FOR--> UKNOWBIGSEAN

88-KEYS
MIXTAPE TO CHECK FOR--> ADAM'S CASE FILES
ALBUM TO CHECK FOR--> THE DEATH OF ADAM

DRAKE
MIXTAPES TO CHECK FOR--> COMEBACK SEASON, SO FAR GONE

ASHER ROTH
MIXTAPE TO CHECK FOR--> THE GREENHOUSE EFFECT
ALBUM TO CHECK FOR--> ASLEEP IN THE BREAD AISLE

BOBBY RAY (FORMERLY B.o.B)
MIXTAPES TO CHECK FOR--> HI! MY NAME IS B.o.B, WHO THE FUCK IS B.o.B?

CHESTER FRENCH
MIXTAPE TO CHECK FOR--> JACQUES JAMS VOL.1: ENDURANCE
ALBUM TO CHECK FOR--> LOVE THE FUTURE

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST..

COLIN MUNROE
MIXTAPE TO CHECK FOR--> COLIN MUNROE IS THE UNSUNG HERO

CHECK THESE GUYS OUT! THEY REALLY ARE GOOD ARTISTS AND NOTHING LIKE THE HOGWASH THEY PLAY ON RADIO TODAY..

I Find This Hilarious..

2009-04-23T14:55:00.000-07:00

Am I wrong for that? lol

Low Class

2009-04-17T19:46:00.000-07:00

I've been wondering for a while now, and I haven't been able to figure out a reasonable answer.
Why is it cool for girls to be without class in today's world?
Attention whores, male or female, are like the scum of the Earth.
Nothing pisses me off more than being surrounded by attention whores.
They always seem to travel in packs, "bitch" is what one calls the next.
I'll never understand why a female would use such a derogatory and misogynistic word as a term of endearment.
"THAT'S MY BITCH! MY MAIN BITCH!!"
News flash, sweetie: n o o n e c a r e s.
No one cares about you anymore than they care for the next person, and with your behavior, you make them care that much less.
When did it become cool for women to carry themselves in such an ignorant fashion?
It really isn't ladylike to curse and to go on tirades when you don't get your way, but for some reason, it has become the norm.
Living by the motto niggas ain't shit and then looking to males for everything.
The last of the ladies out there, much love and respect from me.
It really is a turn on to see a female that carries herself as a lady.
Stay true and hopefully the rest will follow suit.

Poem Six

2009-04-14T15:34:00.000-07:00

Written For Me

I am where I live but I want to go home
Take life slow, get things in control
But there's a couple things I gotta do before I go:
Deconfigure my thoughts, reconsider my heart
Reach up into the sky, eat my piece of the pie
Find some peace of mind, and buy or lease some time
So I can take things at my own pace for a while
'Cause lately I've been racing
Impatient as they say I am
I never slowed down to listen until now
And now I'm mad I did
I wish I would've hid when I ran away from here
But I wanted to be found, so I didn't
It's not too smart to go missing at six in the middle of the winter
Without having dinner, so I didn't go far
Now, I wish I had..
So many times that I went and packed a bag,
Ready to escape, but I didn't leave
My brother would be sad and I knew my mom would grieve.
Sure, they were the one's that were causing me the pain
But I just cooled off by walking in the rain
Or crying til my eyes stopped running on their own
And now I can't cry, eyes dry as bone
With people all around, somehow I'm still alone.
But fuck it, I prefer to be
With nobody here hurting me
Talking to myself like fuck it to the third degree!
I know I don't deserve to be
Feeling this bad
Feeling like I lost everything I everything I ever had
Feeling like a lab rat, stuck up in a maze
Walking around, eyes low, in a fuckin daze
In a crowd of people, but I'm still so alone
I am where I live, but I wanna go home.

And They Call Him Stupid..

2009-04-11T22:17:00.000-07:00

So, I realized that the egg definitely came before the chicken.. And I felt so proud of myself!
You know, the riddle goes, "which came first: the chicken or the egg?"
It doesn't say "the chicken or the chicken egg," and therefore, it could be any egg..
I mean, this is a philosophical question, so we would be fools to simply infer that the egg in question is that of a chicken;
Dinosaurs laid eggs before chickens existed, which means that eggs, indubitably, came before chickens! Applaud me later.

Obesity Should Be Illegal.

2009-04-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

Now, before you call me ignorant, read on.
Understandably, some people have genuine weight problems due to medical disorders.
Others, however are just fat.
Why do I think that should be a crime?
In a world where people starve to death every day, why should some overindulge to the point that it becomes unhealthy?
Why should this be accepted in society?
And why should I be looked at as cruel if I call a fat person fat?
Why am I then considered to be insensitive to the feelings of another person?
What about the feeling of gaseous buildup in the stomachs of hungry children?
I bet none of you ever felt that.
Some people are diabetic, and so they HAVE to keep eating for the sugar.
Circumstances such as this, where it is medically impossible for you to live without the flab, are nothing to look down upon.
Habitual double cheese burgers and chili fries eaters, however, disgust me.
It isn't fair for those who can to eat more than needed when there are millions of people starving right now.
Not to mention, if my trash isn't tied off the right way, or my grass is too tall, I get fined for the "eye sore."
What about those eye sores I see?
The ones with cankles and varicose veins on the back of their knees..
The ones who sweat more than any healthy person should and always have grease stains on their sweat pants..
Why is it okay for them to breathe our air, and breathe it twice as hard, no less?
I'm not a mean person, but I stand up for what's right.
Obesity is not right..
I saw a man eat from a wendy's trash can once, he was so hungry.
Everyone else in the restaurant was eating food that they bought, half of them only eating to waste time I bet.
Think back over your day and tell me how many times you ate.
Then tell me how many times you were actually hungry.

Excitement;

2009-03-29T09:18:00.000-07:00

I live for it, truly. Sadly, there hasn't been much of it as of late :/
I'm just dying for something |c r a z y| to happen.!
Like.. like what if Venus just crashed into the sun and was completely engulfed in the flames?
That would soo make my day.! haha
Oh. Wait; Venus is the goddess of our solar system, isn't it?
That would make our entire solar system a |s a u s a g e f e s t|. Not cool.
Maybe *trying to think of a non-gas giant planet, other than Mars*
Maybe.. Mercury? Yeah; I'd really like to see that.
I swear, the cosmos amazes me.
It's about the only thing that impresses me anymore.
A huge cosmic event like that would make me really happy && at peace.
Idk, I probably seem pretty sadistic right now but
In the words of Dwayne Carter "I don't give a hoot."
I promise you I'm not crazy; I'm BORED.! >_<

Tanka

2009-03-27T16:09:00.001-07:00

Took a swing at some tanka. They're like haiku, but with two more lines of seven syllables.
I actually hate all of these that I wrote.
Obviously, I'm not good at this haha; oh well, i tried (:
I'll try some more though, because I like the format. It only gets better with time.

I have a hard time
Writing these tanka poems.
I thought it would be
Easier than it is.
It's safe to say I was wrong.

I envy the rock;
I'm jealous of the ocean
I pity the fly.
But mostly, I fear the end.
I wish it'd never come.

The monster under
My bed tries to catch me but
I just refuse to
Succumb to his foolish ploys
To drag me to his dungeon.

Sifting through the sand
In search of something lost; But,
It seems as though the
Love she had is nowhere to
Be found; Cardiac arrest.

Standing Out Is The New Fitting In

2009-03-20T15:49:00.000-07:00

im really not sure when this transformation of pop culture began, but it's happening.
im really not sure if this metamorphosis is a good thing or not, but it is what it is.
remember back when everyone just wanted to be a clone of the next guy?
remember when no one was original because they were too busy spectating and emulating?
looks like times have changed; i just hope that it's for the better.
nowadays, no one wants to look, dress, act, talk, BE like the next person.
i mean, that's a good thing, right?
well it would be, except people are making a conscious effort to differentiate themselves from others.
this is where the problem comes in.
when being different is cool, it becomes a fad, just like skinny leg jeans.
now, people are going overboard with the outlandish behavior, just so that they stand out.
news flash: you can't possibly stand out that way-- after all, everyone is doing it now.
it's in, and if you fit in, you're lame.
that is, unless your out-of-pocket behavior is subconscious.
when you try to be different, the essence of diversity is lost.
therefore, you still get categorized with all the other people who became weirdos in the last year.
you wanna be different?
be you, not who you think stands out in a crowd.

Poem Five

2009-03-12T18:15:00.000-07:00

Medium

It's been a while now
And I've been okay
But I wanted to let you know
I'm still mad at you
I'm still hurt
But I still love you.

I always said it was selfish,
Even before it was you
And I haven't gone back on my word
I haven't changed how i feel
But I still love you.

And I think about you every day
And I ask myself how
And I ask myself why
And I ask myself if–
But the fact remains,
You're gone.
But I still love you.
And I miss you.

Poem Four

2009-03-08T13:12:00.000-07:00

Home of the Brave

Can you imagine war on American soil?
Snipers picking women off while they're picking through the clothes racks
Suicide bombers on the subway platform
Kids waiting for parents that ain't coming back for them.
Dead.
A couple kamikaze pilots drop another pair of towers
In the heart of the city before a couple hundred onlookers.
9/11 no longer seen as a catastrophe,
911 calls unanswered, police are scrambling
Trying to calm the mobs, the rioters in the street
As a gang of masked men come carrying RPG's.
Remember when they said anthrax was in the mail?
What if you couldn't eat breakfast
'Cause of anthrax in the cereal?
You sure it's sugar?
And the pancake mix could be mixed with anything.
Let's just wait for lunch, it's only six hours away..
Think the economy's bad now?
We'll really see the stocks crash down
When all of our exports freeze
And our imports are seized by pirates trying their luck.
No survivors among the tourists riding the duck
On the Delaware
River, shivering bystanders-- they're hella scared
Knowing they could be next
To be blown to pieces
What's the evac plan in the case of a war?
Refugees looting, stealing cases of water
Can you imagine war on American soil?

Kiss The Ground Goodbye.

2009-03-01T13:14:00.000-08:00

"These last years been a haze like isaac
so i close my eyes tighter than asian eyes get
realized i got the same wings angels fly wit
wit louis vitton feathers, now thats some fly sh.t"
-kanye west.

sometimes, i wish i could fly.
not to fly away or anything,
i just wanna leave ground at times.
but im soo grounded, which is lame.
it reminds me that i'm limited.
it reminds me that i can never fully trust anyone.
they say if you try your hardest, you can do anything you want
but i still cant fly.
my envy of the sparrow is maxed out.
&& i find it to be unfair that a flat-chested woman
can get surgery to get boobs
but i cant find even one plastic surgeon
who can put wings on these shoulders.
maybe its because they already
hold the weight of the world.

Nadira.

2009-02-27T22:00:00.001-08:00

Yoooo!
this whole post is in honor of her.
seriously, she gave me hope.
even after obama became prez
i had noo hope in the world;
then she proved to me that theres still a chance to get better.
shes youngg bt she got her head screwed on straight
like a batman action figure.
shes soo smart! omg i ♥ her soooo much
she inspires me && thts not easy to do.
im thee least motivated person ever
bt she makes me wanna be better.
have youu seen her blog? lol pshh.
pure [dope!]
dont be mad at me for puttin u out there bt
http://mentalremixx.blogspot.com/
peep!
its like every post is poetry.
she doesnt waste one word;
i can picture everythingg she says
i can connect in some way to all of it.
pretty sure shes thee most creative person
i've ever met. no hyperbole.
im grateful to have met her because
if it wasnt for her, id still have noo hope.
she says things && it makes me wanna learn.
it makes me wanna research
read, expand.
it makes me want better for myself.
shes younger than me, bt shes ~~light years~~
leap years ahead of me.
basically, i just wanted to say thank you.
i appreciate you more than you could ever know.

Poem Three

2009-02-27T19:37:00.001-08:00

And To Think..

If

The
Home that we dwell in was foreclosed
On
Unfortunately we'd live outside
Greeting pedestrians and
Harassing
Them for

Spare change.
However, we'd sometimes be given
Enough to buy ciabatta melts

With Swiss cheese.
And maybe a
Soda

To quench our thirsts,
Having had not a drink all day, not
Even a sip of water.

Or eaten even a few
Niblets dropped by passers by.
Every day would be like this.

get it? lol idk. feedback?
hint: read vertically; there's a reason this poem is left-aligned.

Poem Two

2009-02-25T16:22:00.000-08:00

Relapse

In his mind, he sees murder,
He never meant to hurt her
But because of his actions, she died

He choked back the tears
In front of his peers,
But involuntarily cried.

That's not how he planned it,
He took her for granted
And now she's on to the next

Stage of the cycle;
The screams that he stifled,
He hears them inside of his head.

She thought she could save him
If she kept him away from
The vice that crippled him so.

Looks like she was wrong
And that's why she's gone.
The point he was at was so low.

What more could she do?
She tried to get through
To him, but he needed a fix.

Now, she's in a hearse
And he's got her purse,
But there's no money inside of it.

Poem One

2009-02-24T07:17:00.000-08:00

..And The Sun Rises On The Adolescent Vampire

He knew his time awaited,
Seven minutes then,
And counting.
If he only but had one,
He'd have felt his own hear pounding.
That uncomfortable rest
That bed that lies beneath
The wilting grass and broken stones
That sit across the street.
And watching from my window
I almost felt compelled
And moved by sympathy
To go across and wish him well,
But I dared not leave this wooden stake,
I dared not bare my neck!
For fear of what he'd do to me,
For angst that I'd be next.
Yet, any human soul
That could bare to see him die
There, alone, must also lack
Tear ducts with which to cry.
The cause for this poor boy's demise,
It really is quite tragic
Yet and still, you know of course
Of course, it has to happen
Only six was this poor boy
Before this all transpired
Before the beast tore through his flesh,
That's all that it required
The living dead, the dying life
Whichever most applies
Tried in vain to fly away;
The sun began to rise!
But doomed he was,
He knew it too,
Twas time to face the facts
The time was here,
He felt the sunlight burn against his back.
The pain I felt for that poor boy
Has yet to meet a mate.
I shed a tear that day at dawn
That trickled down my face
And I could feel the burn he felt
As it trekked down my cheek
I only hope that at my final dawn,

I lie asleep.

Tell me what you think!